Does going to couples therapy mean we are broken or a ‘bad match’?
No. This is the most commonly asked question I hear. We are generally taught before we do things in life, right? (Think about learning your job, how to drive, even how to speak). Well, we are not taught how to DO relationships, so much of the learning has to happen while we are in our relationships!
Because you haven’t learned the tools to communicate skillfully, handle conflicts, problem solve, etc, it’s natural and understandable you will have difficulties as a couple.
Although I am a therapist, I really see myself as a relationship coach as I LOVE to teach couples those tools and skills to be better at connecting and communicating in their relationships. And, once you have those skills, you can also apply them to your kids, siblings, friends, and co-workers. The skills are something we are often not taught but you will use all over the place once you have them!
How do I know if you are a good therapist for me?
Read about me on this website (including reading my ‘About Me’ page). Because I created this site, it really helps you know how I think and express myself.
Listen to your body as you are reading through this website; does it feel like I ‘get’ you? Does it seem like I may know you or situations like yours even before we have met? If yes, then I encourage you to schedule a free consultation with me.
During the consultation, you will get to know me more completely and can ask questions about my work and how I would help your relationship specifically. If you feel comfortable with me and confident of the work we will do, then I am a good therapist for you!
How long does couples therapy take?
I do not do traditional weekly couples therapy.
Because I know it’s about you getting results and making change in your relationship quickly, I do ‘couples therapy intensives’. These Intensives are 3 or 4 days and are equal to 6 or 8 months worth of traditional therapy.
We do a lot of work in a very short amount of time so that you see change quickly!
How much does it cost and do you take insurance?
Seeing a therapist is an investment in yourself and your well-being. My Fees page addresses your questions about insurance and fees.
Can couples sessions still be helpful if my partner is reluctant to attend?
Yes. It’s common that partners will have different motivation to attend couples sessions.
Partners may be apprehensive of being blamed or things getting stirred up while in a session and leaving in more conflict. Others feel hopeless and discouraged, so don’t have much energy to put into working on the relationship.
No matter what the reason, it’s real and valid that a partner may be reluctant or skeptical to attend. You each have your own ‘truth’ in your relationship; I understand that and support you both in the process of healing and connecting.
I do find that the hour-long consultation reassures most ‘reluctant partners’ that I can be helpful.
What is the process for starting therapy?
Do exactly what you are doing! Then, reach out to me to set up a free consultation with you and your partner. We see if we are a good ‘fit’ and we go from there. 🙂
I am wondering if a Couples Retreat in a house will feel professional. Will it?
Yes. I have designed the space for privacy, confidentiality, and comfort. I take my work seriously and created a space that exceeds what a clinical space should contain. Read more about my space on my Therapy Space page.
