You are in pain and you want relief fast! It’s taken you so long to reach out; you are worried maybe too long. Conflicts used to happen every once in a while and it was an occasional bad day when they happened. Now, it’s a good day when an argument doesn’t happen.
The silence after an argument feels deadly, like a chasm widening between you two. You feel lonely in this relationship and just want to figure out how to express things so that you are finally heard and understood. Sometimes, this relationship may feel like just too much work and you worry that you will eventually end up alone.
Communication has become like a minefield; you never know when saying something is going to end in a blow up. Even when you think you are doing things ‘right’, you are still told it isn’t good enough. You feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and worry that you can never be what your partner wants.
This is when couples start calling me, wanting weekly couples sessions. Bluntly, weekly therapy sessions at this point often may not be effective. Why?
- You keeping hurting one another in-between sessions, going backwards, rather than forwards.
- You still don’t know how to communicate with one another, so you cannot do things differently enough.
You don’t need a stranger telling you how to solve your problems. You need to learn how to communicate and hear one another so you can solve the problems.
How I help you
My treatment for couples in conflict has a few phases.
Phase 1. I give you quick relief and a very concrete set of communication tools with my “Hold Me Tight®” Communication Workshops. This foundation is to be used immediately to improve your communication and connection.
“My wife and I were at a standstill, plagued by negative behaviors, and after 2 days I really feel like we’re in a much better place, feeling connected and understood and heard, something we’ve lacked for a long time. We’ve been given the tools to reconcile and improve, which I’m thankful for. Now it’s on us to do the work.” — Mike, Hold Me Tight attendee, 2018
Optional Phase 2. The majority of my clients’ relationships are in such a better place after the Workshop, that weekly sessions are not needed. If follow-up sessions make sense, we meet together, strengthening the communication tools you have learned and your connection.
My goal is to have you self-sufficient as quickly as possible, so that you don’t require weekly long-term therapy.